Monday, September 21, 2009

MY LONGING MEETS YOUR LONGING

This is how huge home is: it's deep enough to contain cats with shimmering eyes, a wild array of colors, invisible mountains of mistakes, and even higher peaks of grace, flowers, music, an amazingly comfortable bed (unlike my twisted plank of misery in the hospital) the laptop where I dream my crazy dreams--and yes, miracle of miracles, my family.

Two days ago, I was discharged after my seventh major surgery in two years. It seems incredible and I don't want to shout too loudly and risk offending the gods, but this time, I believe it's really over. Yep. O.V.E.R.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder how I got through it all. But then I turn to my side and the answer becomes clear. I absolutely couldn't have done it without THIS man (seen with grandson Sebastian.)

ted and sebastian

Mine was the kind of experience that tries love in myriad ways, often shattering it, sometimes strengthening it, but always altering it. In my case, well, let me offer this story: Last night when I was falling asleep in my room 9in my amazingly comfy bed) Ted slipped in beside me, and handed me one of the earbuds to his Ipod. Then he popped the other in his own ear and played this song while the darkness spun around us. For us, it wasn't so much about "taking our blue jeans off"--at least not now--but about about facing, and ultimately savoring the night.

Now I don't want to brag. (After all, I've already a risked offending the capricious gods of fate once in this post.) But tonight I'm feeling like the luckiest woman alive.

Love and blessings to all of you who have supported me through this long ordeal.

93 comments:

Patry Francis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zhoen said...

Halleluia! May you never have another one in a long and healthy life.

Patry Francis said...

Thanks so much for that wonderful wish, Zhoen--and for hanging in with me through all 7.

elsie said...

So unbelievably glad to hear from you, and I have everything I can crossed for you for this to be OVER!

Patry Francis said...

Thanks, Elsie. Who knew "over" could be such a beautiful word?

debra said...

what a lovely, lovely post. Wishing you ........ EVERYTHING!

Dale said...

:-)

Hugs, you.

Patry Francis said...

Debra: Wishing you EVERYTHING back, but then that's how it works, isn't it? All our good wishes cycle back.

Dale: You give the best virtual hugs. xo

robin andrea said...

You bring tears to my eyes. You have survived intact with love and a song. What more could anyone ask for? I sincerely love that you are here and full of that spark of life. Your partner is truly that. I tip my hat in his beautiful direction.

Patry Francis said...

Robin: Your support through all of this never felt distant, though it was. Nor did it ever feel like it was coming from someone I've never met. But of course, we have met here in this very real place. As for the incalculable joy of a true companion--well, I know you understand.

BCB said...

Oh God, Patry. I have been quietly pulling for you for so long. I'm all choked up with happiness. Wishing you long life and good health and words. Many many more words.

Patry Francis said...

BCB: Thanks so much for your wonderful wish (I can't imagine a better one) and especially for all that quiet pulling.

Judy Merrill Larsen said...

Amen. Blessings. Love and luck. You deserve it.

xoxoxoxo.

leslee said...

Woo hoo!!! So happy for you, Patry!

Patry Francis said...

Judy: Thanks, Judy. One good thing about FB is that it's brought me closer to like minded souls like you

Leslee: Thank you! I've been cheering for all the good stuff in your life lately, too.

rdl said...

I am so happy it's Over!!!!
love you!!

Patry Francis said...

R: What would I have done without you to bring me broccoli soup and promise me everything would turn out okay during the many times when I lost faith? Love you.

Kevin Watson said...

I will raise a glass in your honor (and your family's) at our Wine & Words Fest on October 3. Wonderful, wonderful news!

Therese Walsh said...

So happy for you, Patry!

Elizabeth Bradley said...

I'm new to your blog, but happy to hear that you may be out of the woods so to speak. Nothing like a comfy bed, and home.

Sustenance Scout said...

You've written so many lovely memorable posts, Patry, but this one is definitely my favorite. SOME day I'll get to the Cape to thank you in person for your writings, your grace, your willingness to share, for your steady stream of reminders of what really matters in this life. Hugs, kiddo. K.

Caroline said...

Your beauty comes from your ability to open your heart and to love. I wish you happiness and bundles of luck x

marja-leena said...

Wonderful news! Such joy and love that you share with us here. May you keep on keeping on, always smiling. Hugs!

Ruahines said...

Kia ora Patry,
That is sensational news, and what a fantastic song. I have heard of Tom Rush and his influence, but until now have never Listened. Thank you for this new discovery, and may the gentle mountain breeze blow upon you. Kia kaha Patry.
Aroha,
Robb

Perfect Virgo said...

Excellent news Patry. May you go from strength to strength.

paris parfait said...

Such wonderful, thrilling news! Am jumping for joy here! xoxox

Sky said...

oh, patry, tears splash from my eyes as i write - the tenderness in your words bring me joy. your post is so full of love and promise. it is that steadfast dedication, the "being in it for the long haul," that speaks to everything love and marriage are about. yes, ted is a really good man, a treasure - just like you. 2 peas in a pod, i would say. you both are lucky.

i feel so fortunate that we have met, that through this medium you guys came into our life. i hope one day the 4 of us will again sit down to dinner, but this time we'll toast 2009 for its marvelous gift of life, for such blessings.

to many joys ahead - x0x

Ric said...

Wow! It has been an amazing journey - a long time since the waitress shoes and waiting for the "call".

The song is beautiful - thank you so much for sharing a wonderful intimate moment with your companion.

As always, may it be over so you can get back to living and writing your wonderful words.

The Life of Mel said...

I don't know what to say but YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

:) :) :)

Prose eludes me.

Myfanwy Collins said...

You are an inspiration, Patry--your strength, your wisdom, your gratitude, your love of life. xoxo

Lisa said...

So happy you're home. This song...

Deirdre said...

There's nothing like being home in your own bed - especially as compared to a hospital bed. I'm so glad to hear you're healing and feeling well enough to enjoy life so beautifully.

Patry Francis said...

Kevin: Wine and words--two of my favorite things. Thanks for taking me to the festival, albeit vicariously.

Therese: Thank you, and thanks for stopping by in the midst of your pre-pub bliss!

Elizabeth: Thank you and welcome!

K: I can imagine nothing more wonderful than seeing you and your gorgeous family on the Cape! Thanks for all the good energy you've sent my way over the years. x

Caroline: What a lovely comment. Thank you.

marja-leena: Strangely, since the "ordeal" began, I've smiled MORE. I guess it's made me hold tighter to each opportunity for joy. Thanks for being here!

...more later.

Susan M said...

Now that is the welcome-home song to end all welcome-home songs. You've got a truly inspired man in your bed and by your side.

Crockhead said...

Patry, it's so good to see you up and about in the blog world and to find out that through all your misery, you haven't lost your gift of writing. Your goodness as a person shines through. You have been an inspiration to many people. Congratulations on getting through the LAST operation!

Patry Francis said...

Robb: Kia Ora and thanks for stopping by to check on me during my absence. Today is the kind of day I can almost feel that mountain breeze--even tho there are none nearby. I'm not surprised that you like the song. It seems like your style.

PV: "from strength to strength" What a wonderful wish. Hope all is well on PEI.

Tara: Thanks so much. I'm looking forward to doing a little jumping too. Not quite there yet, but soon! xo

Sky: I am blessed in my life partner--and in my friends. So glad you and KJ are among them. As for that dinner, it brings back such happy memories...the view of the bay, the wonderful food, the excellent company. Yes, we MUST do it again.

Ric: Yes, we've been friends a long time--from the old waitressing blog on PM when publishing my novel was a distant dream. It IS a beautiful song, and I'm sure you can relate to it. Thanks for the kind words.

Mel: You convey so much without prose! Thank you!

Myf: Thanks so much, and next time you're on the Cape, we WILL meet. I know it!

Lisa: Maybe you should play it for Scott? xo

Dierdre: What is it about hospital beds? Maybe the discomfort is motivation to get the patient out of the hospital faster. It sure worked for me. Thanks for all your good wishes.

Dinnertime...more later.

pohanginapete said...

That's wonderful news, Patry. Thanks for letting us know. :^)

Patry Francis said...

Susan M: I'd have to agree with you on that one!

Crockhead: I can't tell you how good it feels to be here connecting with an amazing group of old friends. Thanks for your words. They are more generous than I deserve.

Pete: Thank you, and thanks for being here throughout. Your photographs always remind me what an AWESOME world we live in (in the traditional sense of that word). They have given me a sense of perspective more times than I can say.

colleen said...

You just brought tears to my eyes and hearing Tom Rush added to them. I just loved him back in the day. I am so happy and relieved that you are home with your loved ones, healing, smiling, living. Your outlook throughout the last two years has been such a shining light for all of us to see life better by.

Patry Francis said...

Colleen: I first saw Tom Rush when I was in H.S. and he was playing at Bridgewater State College. Man, was that voice hypnotic; and after all these years, it still is. Thanks for such a kind comment. Yes, it feels wonderful to be home!

Lorna said...

What a romantic man that is with your grandchild--just the offer of an IPod earbud would have had my hear pounding, but the song!

I'm glad you're feeling better, and at home in the amazingly comfy bed. A nice place to be.

Laura Benedict said...

Possibly the most romantic ending to a chapter ever, Patry. I had to listen to the whole song and cried all the way through it. I'm so, so happy for you both. Big sigh. xoxo

steve on the slow train said...

Patry, I'm so thankful that this ordeal is over and that you have emerged from it even more love, compassion, and insight.

Kerstin said...

You can brag all you like, Patry! I've often thought of you and it fills me with so much joy that you have reached the light at the end of that tunnel. You are a trouper, through and through. Can we hope for more posts at some point in the future? Not that I want to be pushy or anything. Just saying. Big hug, Kerstin xo

musingwoman said...

So very, very happy for you!

Over. What a beautiful word.

Allie said...

Fingers crossed for you and sending lots and lots of good thoughts!

bloglily said...

What a wonderful song, Patry! I'm glad to hear your news, really glad. Here's to your true companion. (and you!) xo

Beth said...

Oh, Patry, what an ordeal! I'm rejoicing with you and wishing you long years of happy writing, lots of loving, and your own comfortable bed!

sonia a. mascaro said...

So happy for you! Many hugs and wonderful things to you!

Patry Francis said...

Lorna: Yes, he is a romantic, but it's his lovingkindness that gets me every time. P.S. I'm wearing your bracelet today and it's giving off some very good vibes.

Laura: Spoken like a true writer! I can't imagine a more perfect song for "true companions." No wonder it made you weep!

steve: If there's anything positive about going through hell, it does seem to increase compassion. You, however, seem to possess it naturally. Thanks for all your good thoughts and kind words these past years.

kerstin: Thanks for asking for more posts. It's always good to be wanted...And thanks again, for "Standing Strong." The photograph you sent has been a powerful symbol to me.

Musing: Thank you. I suppose the beauty of words, like so much else, is all in their context. Sending good thoughts to you.

Allie: Thanks so much for being here and for tying those fingers and toes into knots on my behalf.

bloglily: Thanks so much. My true companion is definitely appreciating all the kudos.

Beth: Writing, loving, and the comfort of one's own bed...Some people might long for more, but for me that's the perfect formula for happiness. Thank you.

sonia: So glad to see you here again! Thanks so much and hugs back at you in Brazil.

Anonymous said...

My dear Patry, What a marvelous surprise to find this beautiful post! Besides the gorgeous cat, the adorable grandchild and the handsome husband,your words are always a treasure to me. Knowing you are full of life and love, even though a bit fragile after the seventh surgery! just warms my heart.
My husband is sleeping in the room with me now or I'd be listening to that wonderful song. But I'll save it for tomorrow.
God bless you, my dear, and please do write more posts when you feel like talking to us.
Ancient Reader

Tinker said...

Oy! Let that seventh one be the lucky last one in your long healthy life!
Fabulous photo of your wonderful guys there, Patry. You and everyone must be so glad you're back home, and I'm so glad for you. Wishing you and Ted many more tender transcendant moments together - and a speedy recovery to enjoy them all the more. Love and blessings and bliss to you, Patry~XOXO

Laura J. Wellner (author pseudonym Laura J. W. Ryan) said...

My Fred and I wish you the best and hope for a speedy recovery!

much love,

Laura

Tish Cohen said...

Ahh, this is the best blog post ever! Thank you for sharing that moment. So happy for you and Ted right now.

A million hugs.

Patry Francis said...

Ancient Reader: Nice to learn a little more about your life, to fill in a little of the darkness with the husband sleeping in the room...and your consideration in waiting to hear the song. Thanks, as ever, for your kindness. And yes, I do hope to be writing more. Maybes shorter more frequent posts.

Tinker: How did I ever forget 7 was a lucky number? Thanks for reminding me! (This one really does feel like the lucky one.) xo to you!

Laura: Thanks and much love to you and Fred.

Tish: Thank you, sweetie. (I was just about to send you an email, which I think I will do NOW.)

John Baker said...

Brilliant post. It's good to have you around.

Patry Francis said...

Thanks, John. Glad to see you here.

Kay said...

Oh Patry I am in Kyoto of all places reading this post of yours. Your man is a darling. So glad you are seeing the light at the end of what's been a long tunnel for you (I gather). And Tom Rush!!! How about that!? His song Driving Wheel is one of my all~time favs ~I have his first LP!!! Go well my dear.

minniebeaniste said...

Patry, you splendid, honest, thoughtful and mesmerising writer - you boast away, while simultaneously giving yourself a pat on the back and smirking smugly! Have been reading your blog, and share some of your experiences (only I was alone), and am so pleased to learn of the happy outcome. And, yes, the power of 'positive' is vastly over-rated - there ARE times when 'negative' is precisely the word you want to hear.
I am so glad you did. Hooray for you, and greetings from the Cote d'Azur - Minnie

Ivy said...

Thank God, Patry. I'm so glad your angels (earthly and otherwise) are looking after you. x

Patry Francis said...

Kay: Thanks so much. I've thoroughly enjoyed your photo and commentary on Kyoto. The phrase that stayed with me: "a considerate society." Ah, now wouldn't that be something. As for Tom Rush, No Regrets was always my favorite.

Patry Francis said...

Minnie; us had to go and check out your beautiful blog. I'm not sure how you found me, but I'm glad we've connected. Thanks for your kind words and your stunning photos--and especially, for sharing a bit of your story. We're always less alone than we think we are.

Ivy: So true. Here's to those poor, overworked, steadfast angels! Thanks so much for being here.

Annie said...

I got here a little late-9 days late! But I am so happy and full of joy that you are good and happy.
xoxo

Patry Francis said...

Annie: I get a jolt of happiness and joy as soon as I see your name! Thank you. x

Minnie said...

Patry, thank you so much for visiting my blog - and for your lovely, encouraging comments, which have cheered me immensely.
It's always good to hear of good people getting what they deserve, possibly because relatively rare ...
I wish you well, and am delighted to have found you and your blog.
A la prochaine, Patry!

Annie said...

Patry-I am glad I make you happy :-). Your posts are a light and a joy to me too. xoxo

Fiona Robyn said...

xxx

Tinker said...

Came back by, to look in on you - and realized I hadn't even mentioned before, how very dignified Berlin looks, presiding over those flowers. What presence!

Patry Francis said...

Tinker: Berlin is definitely the imperial cat of the house.

Marilyn said...

Oh, Patry, this post makes me so happy for both of you...and all of your family. Sending you love and light and hugs. xo

K Cutter said...

Crazy happy for you! What a great day indeed!

luc said...

when i was googling with blogspot as a keyword, i saw this blog many times
makes me boring but i wonder how

Patry Francis said...

marilyn: love back at ya. And speaking of longing, I need to get back to Davis and Crescent City!

K Cutter: Thanks so much. Love that photo of you and your dog!

Luc: Hmm...thanks for telling me--though I can't tell you why.

Bill said...

God bless, Patry.

twoblueday said...

When I think how tough it is just to have an upset stomach or a cough, I wonder how I'd hold up to serious illness.

I'm glad for your apparent successful fight, and glad for your happiness.

MB said...

Patry, you've brought light to my day. Such good news! I'm so happy for you. Thanks for a lovely song which I had not known.

LitPark said...

Listening to it now.

Crying I'm so happy for you. xoxo

Anonymous said...

You don't know me and I don't know you, but I check on your blog every few weeks and am never left wanting. I'm a fellow writer and am so often inspired and heartened by your journey. Thank you.

i beati said...

keep all those [positive vibes always close at hand sandy

Tinker said...

Hi Patry - just thinking of you and wanted to say 'Hi' - sending lots of love and good wishes your way. xOxO

Mary Sheehan Winn said...

Dearest, I hope it's the end of all this suffering. I will say though, that you've inspired me with your sheer will to overcome. And your family, of course is a huge part of that.
I'm sending you this link to a really funny girl who is still really a waitress!
http://slightlycrankywaitress.blogspot.com/
You will laugh, but not too hard if you have stitches!

twoblueday said...

I frequently tell my Honey that I am the luckiest man alive.

And I meant it.

I am glad to hear good things from you.

Tinker said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Patry! xo

Ark Lady said...

Many blessings to you and I hope this means you are finally over that hump.

We did not have our author's lunch this year and I am seriously thinking of that literary pie...and you.

I fondly remember when I first found your blog at Publishers Marketplace and also think of you often each year.

I certainly hope that this is a shift for you. Thanks for sharing the song.

I've been facing health issues for two years now--almost dying earlier this year.

My man, unfortunately, did not stand by me or stick with me through this year's scary episodes.

The journey is not for the weak of heart and I am hoping your life is strengthened by all these challenges so you can reap huge rewards from this point forward.

JP/deb said...

The love and support of a partner, soulmate, and best friend ...

amazing.

I'm so happy for you both.

xx,
JP/deb

Ruahines said...

Kia ora Patry,
Just popping by to wish you well, and hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and have a beautiful holiday season. Kia kaha.
Aroha,
Robb

KG said...

Hi Patry -- I haven't been by in awhile and have thought of you lately. From what I've just read on your blog, you are quite well, and then some -- yeah! :-)

Sending you positive vibes, as always. Keep on keepin' on.

OK, and one more cheer -- YEAH!!!

Tinker said...

Hope you're enjoying happy holidays, Patry! xOx

Mary Sheehan Winn said...

I'm so glad you are well again, Patry.
Your beautiful cat is STUNNING!!

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