Saturday, March 24, 2007

10 thoughts about THE KITCHEN


Alice In Domesticland, originally uploaded by BrittneyBush.

1. When I looked around for an interesting kitchen photo, I found a startling abundance of sexy ones. Naked people ambling across the linoleum. Women in lacy lingerie sprawling on the granite countertops. That kind of stuff. I wonder why...is the kitchen in the sexiest room in the house--or the one where sexiness is most forbidden?

2. Yellow is a very good color for kitchens. If I were queen, I would order all kitchens painted yellow at once.

3. Every kitchen should have a kitchen table, even if it's a little one where you can sit in a bathrobe with a cup of coffee and a notebook in the morning and look out at the birds.

4. My kitchen doesn't! (The queen would like that rectified at once.)

5. My favorite item in the kitchen is a little bench my father made for my kids when they were little. The only one who sits on it now is me.

6. It's good to contemplate the world from a little bench on the kitchen floor every now and then.

7. I hate the idea of having a TV in the kitchen. If I were queen, I would forbid it. If you want noise while you're cooking, the queen insists you have to sing.

8. In my grandmother's kitchen, breakfast was a three course meal: first fruit, then oatmeal (the slow cook kind), then fried eggs and toast. She always sang when she prepared it, too.

9. The best kind of floor is the black and white checked kind that I so admired in Laini's kitchen. Along with no TV, and no walking naked through the kitchen (unless it's late at night and you're really hungry) and mandatory kitchen tables for all, and singing even if your voice is really bad, the queen would order black and white checked floors for everyone. And a little bench where the cat can come up and brush against your knees. Don't forget the little bench.

10. If everyone sang while they made their oatmeal, it would not only taste better, it would lower cholesterol 22% more than it already does. Exactly 22%. If you don't believe me, the queen will commission a survey to prove it.

10 and a half: Once, just once, I want to wash dishes wearing shoes and socks like the ones in the photograph by Brittney Bush! Now that's sexiness in the kitchen. And look at the yellow!

53 comments:

khambagirl said...

I think that the Queen should rule! And her first order of business should be to change all the kitchens in China. I want a kitchen big enough (and of course, yellow) for just a small table...

Pigeon said...

I love it!

Pip said...

I agree with you almost completely! Coincidentally, my kitchen is yellow and I have a small table in the corner where you can sit and drink coffee while looking out into the courtyard.

Wonderful post!

rdl said...

Ahh - the bench! :D

rdl said...

I was going to add - i think i have a really cute pic of Jake, (maybe at 2) on that bench.

Regina Clare Jane said...

Hee hee! What a great post! I wish you were Queen!
Ala, I have no kitchen table either...

Susan M said...

Are you talking about the steel-cut oats? the kind that take a half-hour or more to cook? That's the kind that Jim makes for us on Saturday mornings in winter--our one leisurely morning. Oh, those oats are so delicious.

Dave said...

About the yellow, the table and no TV: i couldn't agree more. Oughtta be a radio, though.

zhoen said...

Can I have red tiles, since I have to have yellow? And the radio for NPR, but only in the early morning when I can't sing, or I'd wake up D? I promise to shut it off and dance the rest of the time.

Moby will love the bench, then he can swat the food out of my hand easily, when I am being a little too slow getting it down to him.

Becca said...

Your kitchen queen has some marvelous ideas. I agree completely about the kitchen table~I use mine for exactly the purpose you described.

Great kitchen-y thoughts!

Patry Francis said...

khambagirl: Do you live in China? If so, I want to visit! And yes, a small table in the kitchen by the window in the kitchen is my dream.

pigeon: Thank you, and welcome to my blog! I love to see new names and faces.

pip: "Almost complete agreement" is good enough for this queen. I love the image of your small table in the corner, looking out on a courtyard. You must think wonderful thoughts there...

r: The bench is where I sit when I want to feel like a child again--as if I needed any help. And yes, I remember that photo. Jake with his sweet face and his platinum blond hair sitting on that bench.

regina clare: I'm beginning to think we need to start a support group for people who have no kitchen tables...

susan: Yes, the steel cut oats! Next time I come to Chicago, I'll have to make sure it's on a Saturday morning. Can we sit in the breakfast nook?

dave: You're right about the radio. If I'm gonna sing, I need some LOUD background music so I don't scare the animals.

zhoen: Red tiles with the yellow would be divine! In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night, worried that the black and white floor might not work with the yellow. (It's tough work being a queen...)

I love the idea of NPR whispering quietly in the background while the beloved in sleeping, too...Maybe you'd like to be assistant queen with opportunities for advancement?

becca: I wonder if you first composed your last wonderful post at the kitchen table...Probably not, since most of us write directly onto the computer, but I love imagining it that way.

Amber said...

This scribble really made me smile!

I also agree that all kitchens should have a table. I like those old eat-in kitchens, with the gian family tables right in the room...and checked floors. ;)

:)

chest of drawers said...

Love your kooky kitchen ideas! I always sing while I´m cooking and one of my kitchen walls is yellow. If I dressed like to woman in the photo my boyfriend would be spending a lot more time in the kitchen and I probably wouldn´t get any cooking done!

Patry Francis said...

amber: Yes! Bring back the eat-in kitchen with the warm hearth and the cozy table!

chest of drawers: You may have hit on one of the reasons why sexiness isn't allowed in the kitchen. The pots would never get washed, and the lentil soup might get scorched...Your kitchen sounds wonderful, which doesn't surprise me at all!

Marilyn said...

This post is going to be hard to top at Sunday Scribblings. ;) I have to disagree about #7...but then the Zenith TV we have atop the back edge of our wooden kitchen table is a small B&W that my mother owned in 1969 that came with one rabbit ear. It sits right next to the General Electric vintage radio that's a duplicate of the one my Italian grandmother had in her kitchen. I rarely turn on the TV...it just makes me happy that it still works (as does the tube radio). And the best part? The counter-top and backsplash tile in our old kitchen is YELLOW. Now, if only we had a B&W checked floor... ;)

Remiman said...

I made one of those benches for my daughter. I wonder if she uses it to look out the window and watch the birds.
Yellow daffodils in an aged warm wood tinted kitchen, with honey colored hardwood floor.
Please? By special dispensation your Highness?
;-)
rel

kenju said...

I already have a yellow kitchen and I'm tired of it. Can I have a dispensation?

Mardougrrl said...

Hee! I loved this post...especially the part about having the kitchen table--I stand up at the counter now to write my morning pages because I DON'T have room for a table--my kitchen is more of a cut out and less of a room.

And you SHOULD be Queen. Just because. ;)

sage said...

I like the kitchen rules--except for the yellow, what would that do to a hangover, not that I have them anymore. Thanks for stopping by my blog and congratulations on your book deal. it sounds like you're having the time of your life.

paris parfait said...

The Queen has some fascinating ideas about kitchens - I like the yellow and the black-and-white floors. And the table (sadly, no room in ours for one at the moment) and singing before oatmeal - so many great ideas!

KG said...

I would TOTALLY vote for you for QUEEN! (Please announce your candidacy.)

I agree with you, especially about the table (even if it's very small). And the singing part. And the singing lowering cholesterol. Absolutely!

TV in the kitchen?!?!? Horror.

Patry Francis said...

marilyn: I think we could make an exception for your decorative Zenith. Next time I come to California--and I don't intend to wait so many years before I do--we will have to make time to sit in your yellow kitchen and listen to the radio.

remiman: When you describe the hardwood floors as honey-colored, there's no way I could say no--especially to a builder of little benches.

kenju: You're tired of your yellow kitchen? Maybe we can trade??

madougrrl: Do you think the fact that you stand when you write your morning pages influences how they turn out? (And if so, maybe I should start. Your writing sings!)

sage: That would depend on the shade of yellow, I think. A bold yellow would probably look better with the black and white tiles, but it would definitely intrude on a hangover. But the gentle, buttery yellow in the photo is a different matter...

tara: I'm beginning to realize how many (wonderful) people don't have kitchen tables. Why does that make me feel better about my lack?

kg: As long as I don't have to wear those dowdy hats and walk around looking serious like most queens do...

Terri /Tinker said...

Hail Queen Patry! I love black and white floors in kitchens - and yellow, too; though I'd like either some red or aqua with it - I hope that will be allowed!

Be careful cooking in those shoes - they look rather slippery - though they are definitely hot. I'm sure the cook wearing those wouldn't even need a "kiss the cook" apron...

The Curmudgeon said...

There's no TV in our kitchen, but Long Suffering Spouse has her radio tuned to the Sox game (ours are White, not Red) every evening.

The delay on the cable being what it is... my wife knows if the fly ball we're just watching off the bat stays fair or goes foul... if the ground ball gets through or starts a double play....

When Oldest Son is in residence, this can be quite amusing -- because he gets more and more agitated as my wife reacts to plays he hasn't seen yet.

Because my wife's in the future. Our kitchen is on the other side of a temporal rift.

Lorna said...

I love a blue kitchen---one with huge windows and a loveseat to read in; a table is good; I like a small fountain, blue willow pattern catfood dishes, and "Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon" printed in pewter paint over the door.

And I'll take a dose of the fantasy picture too.

Patry Francis said...

tinker: Red and acqua would complement the black and white tiles nicely, wouldn't they? Now you see why I can never be queen...I'm far too easily swayed.

curmudgeon: I was going to say something about most wives being a time zone or two ahead of the males in residence, but as queen for a day, I need to practice fairness. Thus, I'll just say 'Great story!' and 'Go Sox!'

Lorna: A blue kitchen with a window seat, and a fountain, and sexy shoes and socks to wear while washing the dishes? YOU WIN. All hail the new queen, Lorna!

floots said...

i do all the cooking in our house
does this mean i have to buy a thong :)

chiefbiscuit said...

Naked people rolling across the linoleum? What next? I love the photo of the yellow kitchen. Ours is pale cream-yellow - now after seeing that yellow kitchen, I too want bright.
I love the way you have used a list - Patry you rock! And might I say it is so good to have you back.

herhimnbryn said...

Hear , hear about the table. Forget about the 'island bench' thingy, we want large, scrubbed, wooden farmhouse tables....and we want them now Queenie!

Sara said...

Yellow is an excellent color for a kitchen, but I must rebel against any queen who would make every kitchen any particular color. My mother's kitchen was always pink, which looked very charming with the brown wood cabinets, the '70s bronze fridge, and all her copper gelatin molds hung on the wall. There is also something to be said for the surgical cleanliness of a white-and-steel kitchen, though it's hard to keep that up without a maid.

Of course, my kitchen is yellow, and that is convenient because most of the messes I make and don't clean up immediately tend to go nicely with it. Everything from spilled cocoa to spattered blueberry juice looks nice with yellow, as does dried cake batter on a cream-colored counter. It also goes with the chili pepper lights we have strung up around the window. In fact, we were in a local tchotchkeria the other day when my true love held up a beautiful set of handmade brass measuring cups and asked me what I thought of them to hang on the wall of our kitchen. "No," I told him. "Our kitchen is chili pepper chic," an assertion which made the sales staff titter until I explained that it's like shabby chic, only with chili peppers. "I mean, they're very beautiful, and you should buy them if you want them, but then we'll have to totally redo the whole kitchen just to match the measuring cups. I think that could get expensive." He agreed and sadly returned them to the shelf -- but not too sadly, because he likes what happens in our not particularly stylish kitchen just the way it is, even though you'll never catch me wearing high heels there.

Frances said...

I say we crown you Queen at once.
Long Live the Queen.
Thanks for a lovely post.
Grandma's breakfast sounds divine.

Avus said...

Couldn't agree more about yellow - but not just for the kitchen - I love it everywhere!
As to "singing oatmeal" lowering cholesterol 22% - I fear you are mistaken - close reference will show you that the figure is actually 22.533% (recurring)

Noelle said...

I have black and white tiles in my kitchen, it was one of the primary reasons I rented the place. The lesson here is to look beyond kitchen tiles when renting an old cottage.

Sky said...

this post was just toooo fun!

head out now to find a vintage shop where you can purchase your dish-washing shoes/socks! then have ted take a picture! ;)

our kitchen is very pale yellow which i wish were a little brighter...and we do have that small table for 2 where we can look out onto the side patio and rock garden through glass doors and watch the birds. perfect! i spent months looking for the right table for this. i want to enlarge the kitchen area which is L shaped to the family room, an all-in-one space. oops - we have a tv in the family room area; the sound is available to the kitchen, and it can be seen from the table. and the floors are light/medium oak hardwoods which i will wish were tile if we ever get another puppy!

Fred Garber said...

Great ideas for the kitchen. Please paint the table red and the chairs blue. The radio we have in our kitchen is an old one that is always tuned to the Spanish language station.

leonie said...

oh this made me laugh out loud! i especially love items 2,3,4 & 10. my kitchen doesn't have a table either, but it's on my wish list for the next one - particularly now it seems to have become a royal decree!

Jone said...

Great rules for the kitchen! I love the table to sit with the notebook, the no tv, and singing. I vote you for queen as well.

Patry Francis said...

floots: Only if you post the photo on Flickr.

chiefbiscuit: Pale cream yellow is the best kind! And can I just say how great it is to BE back among all of you. Reading over the last few comments, I've laughed out loud several times.

herhimnbryn: Large scrubbed wooden farmhouse tables sound divine, though I think one would entirely consume my little kitchen. Even the little bench would have to go--unless I sat UNDER the table.

sara: I love it when you rebel, which the queen has noted is quite frequently. So sorry I missed out on seeing your yellow, chili pepper chic kitchen. But at least, you've given me a vivid image of it, and as we all know, imagination is almost as good (and sometimes better) than the real thing.

frances: Thanks for visiting! Glad you enjoyed breakfast...

avus: Your study results are impressive. You must have been one of the researchers commissioned by the queen.

noelle: Your comment would make a good opening to a story or novel. It leaves me wanting to know more.

sky: Your kitchen sounds fabulous--especially when I imagine sitting there and looking out on your tranquil and marvelous rock garden. (Are you considering a new puppy??)

fred: I once had an old shaker style table, which I painted blue. It's now in the basement where I use it to fold laundry. But you know that what interests me most about YOUR kitchen is the all the legendary food your wife prepares. If I recall, the last time you talked about it here, the entire blog cast invited ourselves to dinner.

leonie: A table, just a small table...I'm hearing the plaintive cries from people with cramped kitchens everywhere.

Patry Francis said...

jone: we must have x-posted. I love thinking about so many of us of us, sitting at our little tables with our coffee or tea and our notebooks in the morning (whether they are in the kitchen or not) dreaming our dreams.

Jan said...

JUst discovered your Blog.
Hello There!
And YES I like sitting in a chair by the window at my kitchen table with a notebook and pen ( and usually a cat or two to keep me under control) They are 12 yr old tabby sisters who are the loyales, most interested of creatures...
And I love my kitchen.
Whenever I come home, it welcomes me.

Anonymous said...

I love you as Queen of the Kitchen and Queen of your Backyard Dreams from your bench/throne! And I promise you can be Queen of our Hotel Room in May, but only if you sing loud enough to drown out the sirens and honking while I sleep.

My kitchen is yellow and I've been wanting to paint it neutral for years, but recently fell in love with its sunniness. But here's what's fun about it...
-the funky crystal chandeliers I found in someone's trash and hung up.
-the 100 yr-old wooden tool box that makes all our junk disappear.
-the fence it looks out on is the small animal superhighway and sometimes an exhausted squirrel flops down with his legs straddled on both sides and has a nap.

Patry Francis said...

jan: Welcome to my blog and my kitchen (which alas, is not yellow, has only one small window, no table, and through which no one ever walks naked, but is beloved anyway. Maybe because it has cats, and coffee and lots of chocolate.) I like your name for the tabby sisters.

tish: I would be happy to sing, but I'm afraid that if I do, you will be begging for sirens to drown ME out.

Your kitchen sounds as marvelous as I knew it would be. The next time we talk on the phone, you'll have to sit in its sunniness so I can imagine those chandeliers, and the animal super highway out back. But of course, I love the 100 year old wooden box most of all. Maybe because I have so much junk that needs to disappear?

Perfect Virgo said...

My old kitchen was yellow as a child's sketch of the sun. My new one is ancient and we have rejuvenated it with a shuttle shade of grey/brown called "urban putty."

Becca said...

Imaginative and fun ... it's so good to visit again.

Left-handed Trees... said...

I say you get yourself out and buy a pair of those heels for doing the dishes (after all, your waitress shoes have been retired now, so why not?).
Love,
D.

Kimberley McGill said...

Hurray! The Queen has spoken - I'm printing this out and taking it to my landlord first thing in the morning -if he just gives me a funny look I trust there is a queenly remedy for that?

I'm relatively new to SS- Loved stopping by here.

Patry Francis said...

p.v.: Always thrilled to see you drop in, and glad to hear you've rejuvenated the kitchen. A very good word, which I suspect describes more than the wall paint!

becca: Thank you. Have especially enjoyed your recent entries...

delia: I like that idea--a lot.

kimberley: Welcome! If the landlord gives you any trouble, send him to me.

Past to Present and Everything in Between said...

Love your post...I have a light green kitchen amost yellow...With a small table and a rocking chair...When no one is here I sit in the rocking chair with a coffee and my feet on the table (Sh...love it)

Patry Francis said...

past to present: Your pale green kitchen sounds like a perfect place to contemplate "everything in between." Thanks for your comment.

colleen said...

You rule! I wonder what you'd say about the bedroom. That's where I do most of my living (not counting this chair at the computer).

Patry Francis said...

colleen: I'm hoping you'll write the bedroom post. Reigning over the kitchen has been enough responsibility for this monarch.

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