tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post5496059081649057748..comments2024-02-15T23:41:36.425-08:00Comments on SIMPLY WAIT: MALICE: THE DARK VALENTINEPatry Francishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-76552777204873800342022-04-06T16:46:43.581-07:002022-04-06T16:46:43.581-07:00mastercam Crack
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I think I wrote to you a few years ago...Hi Patry, <br /><br />I think I wrote to you a few years ago telling you that your waitress shoe blog post (Waitress gets a bok deal) really inspired me. After reading it I decided not to buy another pair of socks until my book was published. While I never got that book deal, I did buy some new socks this week! I've just self-published my book on Amazon.com. This post "And then there were socks" is dedicated to you: http://www.tarabenwell.com/Tara_Benwell/Blog/Entries/2011/3/25_And_then_there_were_socks.html<br /><br />Thank you,<br />TaraTara Benwellhttp://www.tarabenwell.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-21854836774109166302011-03-21T14:36:43.849-07:002011-03-21T14:36:43.849-07:00I haven't read blogs in a while and I have mis...I haven't read blogs in a while and I have missed you! thank you so much for this. I needed it.Maryanne Stahlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12461617567840191096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-20708357124714814672011-03-08T07:19:00.631-08:002011-03-08T07:19:00.631-08:00I'd have to drive to work one Friday a month w...I'd have to drive to work one Friday a month when the boys were little and we had Cub Scout Pack Night at the school hall. It was the only way I could get there on time. Or reasonably close thereto.<br /><br />But I could never make the Cub Scout hand gestures. Just having come off the Kennedy Expressway, I was always afraid I'd make the <i>wrong</i> hand gesture.<br /><br />Dark thoughts can be overwhelming. I wallow in them all too often, like a hippo in a mud hole. It's easy to do when you work alone. It's difficult to stop wallowing and start doing. Have you seen an athlete jump out of a pool and land on his feet? Imagine the hippo in the mud hole doing the same thing to grasp the degree of difficulty. Of course, if you seriously imagine that, you can't help but smile, can you?<br /><br />So keep smiling. People will wonder what you're up to, of course... but that will only make you smile more.The Curmudgeonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14723009641287783218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-24510514841150245622011-03-01T15:50:25.713-08:002011-03-01T15:50:25.713-08:00It's rather humbling to admit, at one time or ...It's rather humbling to admit, at one time or another, I think I've indulged in an awful lot of negative behavior ...Whining, complaining, honking, stomping, swearing (mostly silently, but occasionally, ahem, not so much)...Not to mention, heavy sighing and my top secret black ops weapon - the dark matter glare (the one where lasers shoot out of my eyes, mentally sending the other person through a black hole in the nether regions of the universe. Or, at least, out to a cornfield, somewhere in the twilight zone. Fortunately, it's effects are non-lethal and a figment of my imagination). I've confirmed I know how to make an a** of myself. Now, I'm trying to work on the unmaking...<br />I've been trying to remember the list of daily goals you posted (in January, I think) - especially the one about 'be the antidote' - and while I don't always seem to remember it in time to take full advantage - it has helped on several occasions (it definitely helped me while having to stand in line for over an hour at the DMV, last week - TWICE, in two days. Thank you!). <br />I think you've named the ultimate antidote to it all, here - smiling. I'll keep trying to do more of that. Thanks for the reminder, Patry :)Tinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584047180190646921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-40777188492220169912011-02-20T09:22:28.432-08:002011-02-20T09:22:28.432-08:00Great post, Patry. It's so true about how hard...Great post, Patry. It's so true about how hard it is to feel any kind of bad when you're smiling. A related thing, one that took me more than a few decades to get, is that when I speak good wishes out loud, they have a way of bouncing off the recipient and finding their way back to me. Like when I (sincerely) wish the dour saleslady a good afternoon, I'm making it happen for myself too. Most likely I'll have a good afternoon (or a good few minutes but I'll take it). I feel better because of the giving, however slight. Of course, like donating to charity, it doesn't work if the intent is to make myself feel better. Still, it's pretty amazing how words--and smiles--can have an all-inclusive ripple effect.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-47274398858661709172011-02-17T05:14:00.621-08:002011-02-17T05:14:00.621-08:00:D love this!
I had a day like that last wk. (may...:D love this!<br />I had a day like that last wk. (maybe it was a full moon?) when my favorite word was "flippin", flippin car, flippin people - all in "My" way of course. helped when i took myself away - out of the beaten track to poetry group, where everyone stops and listens - even me. :Drdlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04062856086277201874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-346783372300912552011-02-16T18:26:47.331-08:002011-02-16T18:26:47.331-08:00Beth: Just added the Dhanna Brothers to my list on...Beth: Just added the Dhanna Brothers to my list on Netflix. I suppose that most of us should be grateful that our negative thoughts rarely involve violent fantasies, and we don't have to fight the impulse to act on them. But it's clearly a situation of "there but for the grace of God..." I love your description of our secular monasteries. <br /><br />Ancient Reader: We have never met and I don't even know your name, but even from this distance, I can feel the result of your efforts. What you say about judgment extends the conversation that Beth began, and the thoughts it triggered in my head. Much of what we call our "selves" is coded on our genes--be it a gift or a challenge. How can we possibly judge?<br />And yet, sadly, knowing all that, we sometimes do...<br /><br />Lorna: Pollyanna was and still is my idol. Thanks for always reminding me to smile.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-1996552555371032082011-02-16T17:43:13.842-08:002011-02-16T17:43:13.842-08:00that WAS inspiring, and left me needing to look at...that WAS inspiring, and left me needing to look at myself more closely. Having done that, I can only confess to raging Pollyannaism, for which I have the appropriate amount of shame. Pollyannas are not interesting people, they're not Divine Righters, they're not even malicious in dark places. they're just kind of smiley and annoying. More dark, I say!Lornahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08976144449873569523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-49959912681455050902011-02-16T15:28:34.676-08:002011-02-16T15:28:34.676-08:00Patry, my dear,
Once again you've said some im...Patry, my dear,<br />Once again you've said some important things about everyday living and the way it is done. I have been working with the help of my faith on not being judgmental for over seventy years now, and I'm sorry to say, I still have to work on it.<br />The only thing that helps me with these thoughts of judgment on a specific person is that I would be disrespectful and thoughtless if I were doing what he/she is doing. But I have no way of knowing what his/her life is like at this moment in time and have no right to act or think that I do. Then I relax and think on something else.<br />Often this works for me. But it still happens, my judging others, sorry to say.<br /><br />Keep up your healing efforts for us all, Patry.<br />Ancient ReaderAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-7568468682174868842011-02-16T14:31:31.418-08:002011-02-16T14:31:31.418-08:00Great post, Patry, and coincides with my own desir...Great post, Patry, and coincides with my own desire to do something more intentional about my own negative thoughts. Have you ever seen "The Dhamma Brothers?" about inmates at a maximum security prison who learn intensive mediation as a way to control acting out on their negative thoughts? I found it inspiring, the same way Merton is inspiring, and it reinforced the truth that we are all inmates of our own prisons, or monks in monasteries better known as marriages, families, workplaces, communities.Bethhttp://www.cassandrapages.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-13148991598240659812011-02-16T09:16:51.860-08:002011-02-16T09:16:51.860-08:00Deborah: Maybe we should start a crappy thought su...Deborah: Maybe we should start a crappy thought support group? Your girl could be our adviser if she's available!<br /><br />Sky: Just this morning, I had a flare-up of angry, judgmental thoughts. Then I thought of what I'd written yesterday, and I felt accountable in some way. I've committed to change, not perfection (certain defeat lies in that direction) but a daily, incremental alteration of my habits of mind. Yes, BABY STEPS!<br /><br />Thanks for noticing the new look. After 6 years, it was about time!Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-79774219687734252722011-02-16T08:52:42.984-08:002011-02-16T08:52:42.984-08:00I agree with Dale! Oh, if you could only spend a ...I agree with Dale! Oh, if you could only spend a day with me you would see REAL malice! I have come to see my impatient, hateful, and judgmental self more clearly over the course of the past few years. I hope this clarity is actually allowing me to dispel some of the behavior, but I seem to have a grocery cart full on any given day that I could banish. Baby steps, I remind myself...change always begins with baby steps.<br /><br />I love the new look here at the blog, by the way. :))Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02523247895437700129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-45458662820205404712011-02-15T21:21:25.153-08:002011-02-15T21:21:25.153-08:00Thanks for the forthright name, "crappy thoug...Thanks for the forthright name, "crappy thoughts." I often hesitate to name this and just forge ahead. Sooner or later, the crappy thought surfaces until I face it. <br /><br />Crappy thought, my new favorite phrase.Deborah Jiang Steinhttp://www.facebook.com/deborah.jiang.steinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-65184944451509884072011-02-15T20:48:22.727-08:002011-02-15T20:48:22.727-08:00Ah, Dale, what a lovely thing to say...but I'm...Ah, Dale, what a lovely thing to say...but I'm afraid that I'm not nearly as kind as you think. Thomas Merton once wrote about how disillusioned he was when he entered the monastery and found that monks who'd spent thirty or forty years praying and meditating could still have nasty tempers. But later he came to realize that the intractable nature of their weaknesses only made their persistence more remarkable. These days I'm striving to be like those monks.<br /><br />Annie: And I find hope in YOU. There's something amazingly therapeutic about admitting to our darker thoughts and words. It's a first step, and one that, at least for me, must be undertaken every day. xoPatry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-92229222046046263152011-02-15T19:50:38.479-08:002011-02-15T19:50:38.479-08:00Lisa: Honking with malice! That sounds serious! Th...Lisa: Honking with malice! That sounds serious! The way I see it, there are three kinds of people: those who are working on their assishness, those who are inveterate asses and proud of it, and most irredeemable of all: those who have no idea that they are asses.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-53860438996741724032011-02-15T19:49:21.105-08:002011-02-15T19:49:21.105-08:00Patry, Thank God, I thought I was the only mean on...Patry, Thank God, I thought I was the only mean one, but if you can sometimes be mean too, that makes me very hopeful that there is hope for me yet. xoxoAnniehttp://blissful-bohemian.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-37307295064974551192011-02-15T19:42:34.762-08:002011-02-15T19:42:34.762-08:00Oh, dear Patry. Of almost no one would I believe t...Oh, dear Patry. Of almost no one would I believe this, as a description of their deepest malice, but I believe it of you :-) xoxoDalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14523194846272870013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-65881152731324941602011-02-15T18:42:13.073-08:002011-02-15T18:42:13.073-08:00This post was just in time. Hello friends. I honke...This post was just in time. Hello friends. I honked at a lady today and I honked with malice. Keep in mind, I live in Colorado and I'm a horn virgin, or I was until today. I feel like such an ass. Though it's nice to know I'm not alone in my struggle against assishness. Love you Patry!Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00665632105920753931noreply@blogger.com