tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post1438021909704325772..comments2024-02-15T23:41:36.425-08:00Comments on SIMPLY WAIT: DID YOU THINK I WAS YOUR MOTHER?Patry Francishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-67201599772190821052023-03-12T10:19:02.405-07:002023-03-12T10:19:02.405-07:00<- Yes, dear, this is the same author...
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I love the way you tell the stories.Poignant. <br />I love the way you tell the stories.Mary Sheehan Winnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07739304038978908921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-84912245733007049002011-03-11T18:27:22.060-08:002011-03-11T18:27:22.060-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-87643548021494772062011-03-01T16:46:54.231-08:002011-03-01T16:46:54.231-08:00My heart goes out to you and your family, dear Pat...My heart goes out to you and your family, dear Patry. Sending many loving thoughts and prayers for you all.<br />HugsTinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584047180190646921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-88419430274825078442011-02-24T19:05:36.565-08:002011-02-24T19:05:36.565-08:00Sky: I have come back to read your lovely words a ...Sky: I have come back to read your lovely words a few times. Thank you for all you've shared. It has helped more than you know.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-74835004759966758122011-02-16T09:42:17.348-08:002011-02-16T09:42:17.348-08:00Patry, I think of you so often during this journey...Patry, I think of you so often during this journey. You and she are so fortunate to have loved each other so well, to have shared so many extraordinary moments of deep love and devotion. It was interesting to read that the games you played in childhood have been helpful to you now during this challenging time. Bringing her love now in those ways she might recognize is the same sort of loving distraction a mother offers her crying infant. Love always wins in one way or the other. <br /><br />My mother was my playmate, too, which always delighted me. There were so many shared moments of love and affection and laughter - the kind that makes your belly ache and tears flow. She shared stories of her childhood and her life which would later help me understand my own. The secrets we kept, the laughter and glee, the kisses, the support she constantly offered, the countless moments of love between us sustain me now in her absence. <br /><br />I did not have the opportunity to be the full time caregiver but know from the time I spent with Mother what a challenging road it is to travel. I keep you both in my heart and prayers and think of you each day. This post is a beautiful testament to the life-long love you share and cherish.Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02523247895437700129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-32334839602874856282011-02-08T20:06:37.086-08:002011-02-08T20:06:37.086-08:00Robb: The photos of you with your sons in the plac...Robb: The photos of you with your sons in the place you love so much say so much. So many blessings. Kia ora.<br /><br />zhoen: My heart goes out to those who never felt loved by their parents--and to the elderly and sick, who are not cherished or touched with kindness by their family or caregivers. I think of that poem by Langston Hughes, which I may be paraphrasing: <br /><br />Birthin is hard.<br /> Dyin is mean. <br />Get yourself some lovin in between. <br /><br />Mary: Thank you! I've been meaning to email you. <br /><br />Sandy: Relentless is a good word for it. Thank you for the award!Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-76136758401775204622011-02-03T01:40:57.661-08:002011-02-03T01:40:57.661-08:00I tagged you for a stylish blogger award and you m...I tagged you for a stylish blogger award and you might tap 7 others up to you http://www.spiritifelici.blogspot.comi beatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09898046178398533410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-15424709066384234992011-02-01T08:40:31.831-08:002011-02-01T08:40:31.831-08:00I just don't know it is the most unrelenting d...I just don't know it is the most unrelenting disease..i beatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09898046178398533410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-9525554535539025192011-01-26T20:08:07.259-08:002011-01-26T20:08:07.259-08:00Congratulations!!Congratulations!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-77911840871112974452011-01-22T15:29:52.359-08:002011-01-22T15:29:52.359-08:00I am so glad you had such devoted and interesting ...I am so glad you had such devoted and interesting parents, who loved you so. That is rare and precious, not all of us had that. <br /><br />I agree with leslee, enter her reality. Don't reorient her, just be whomever she thinks you are at the moment. I always got on well with my demented patients, and their families often got them riled because they were upset that they were not recognized. I just played whatever part they seemed to want at that moment. Daughter, mother, friend, whatever. Learned a lot about them. <br /><br />One woman was in bliss when a very realistic baby doll was given to her to hold. She had a very tenuous hold on any kind of reality. One burst out at an aide serving her dinner in the dining room, "You want me to suck your cock!?" Poor kid turned beet red, and I had to stifle giggles. He'd merely asked her what she wanted, and I have no idea where this came from. <br /><br />I'm sorry you are all going through this. She is, however, living in an eternal now, which is a kind of zen ideal. You have the hard part.Zhoenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03515663141425057088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-31566720949182745362011-01-21T16:14:06.931-08:002011-01-21T16:14:06.931-08:00Kia ora Patry,
This is just beautiful, and hits h...Kia ora Patry,<br /> This is just beautiful, and hits home with me in so many ways, particularly in thinking of my father and the man I am trying to become. I am going to call my mom from across the miles this very moment. Kia kaha e hoa.<br />Aroha,<br />RobbRuahineshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398484733805119294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-74594110109735062282011-01-20T18:34:16.468-08:002011-01-20T18:34:16.468-08:00Dale: Thank you, friend.
R: So grateful for you, ...Dale: Thank you, friend.<br /><br />R: So grateful for you, too. x <br /><br />Beth: I remember how when your mother died--another much loved and loving parent of an only daughter. Reading your words as you navigated the sorrow with typical grace gave--and still gives me courage.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-6031312748794268762011-01-20T13:21:58.338-08:002011-01-20T13:21:58.338-08:00This touched me deeply, Patry, having lost three o...This touched me deeply, Patry, having lost three of our parents now, in three different ways, but I think the dementia aspects were the hardest. I wish you all the patience and love in the world, and also the ability to forgive yourself for not being "perfect" - whatever that could possibly be. I never had a sibling either but isn't it a huge gift that we have all these internet friends now to hold our hands?Bethhttp://www.cassandrapages.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-87571745731621524592011-01-20T06:20:36.965-08:002011-01-20T06:20:36.965-08:00damn, you made me cry before coffee. Your wonderfu...damn, you made me cry before coffee. Your wonderful, beautiful post gave me goosebumps. <br />I didn't pray for a sister but pestered my mom asking for one. she'd just look at me with a smile that said, you must think i'm crazy. so i am eternally grateful for you.rdlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04062856086277201874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-50948359579269831862011-01-20T06:17:15.531-08:002011-01-20T06:17:15.531-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.rdlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04062856086277201874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-90975317571360835922011-01-19T21:57:32.971-08:002011-01-19T21:57:32.971-08:00xoxoxo
dear Patry.xoxoxo<br /><br />dear Patry.Dalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14523194846272870013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-31570532558234328452011-01-19T19:02:06.524-08:002011-01-19T19:02:06.524-08:00Debra: "To honor him and give him dignity in ...Debra: "To honor him and give him dignity in these days of his long life." Can there be a greater blessing than that--for all of you?Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-45258214013681010042011-01-19T17:40:00.185-08:002011-01-19T17:40:00.185-08:00When my mother-in-law died suddenly last July, we ...When my mother-in-law died suddenly last July, we became my father=in-law's caregivers. This is a complex and intense time, as we grieve the loss of both parents, really. It is a time to honor my father-in-law, and to give him dignity in these days of his long life. Thank you for your lovely words.debrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17676300309029588465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-42469323017348962522011-01-19T12:50:30.532-08:002011-01-19T12:50:30.532-08:00Robin: Yes, that familiar heart, familiar hand and...Robin: Yes, that familiar heart, familiar hand and smile...you say it so well.<br /><br />Deborah: We sons and daughters who know this disease far too intimately are a large and growing club. Your presence and your words give me strength. xo<br /><br />Jessica: Thank you for picking out that phrase--the essence of our greatest fears and the deepest mystery of our existence. It's what torments victims and their families most, but it's also what demands that we look deeper, give more, expand our own definitions of who we are.Patry Francishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10961915797919017179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-47533758445601453512011-01-19T10:27:58.735-08:002011-01-19T10:27:58.735-08:00This is a beautiful and heartbreaking story. Such ...This is a beautiful and heartbreaking story. Such memories of then and now, and most especially, your mind-blowing phrase: "the fluid terrain of identity"--haunting and quietly explosive.Jessica Keenerhttp://confessionsofahermitcrab.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11695927.post-30756326547409216482011-01-19T08:36:23.989-08:002011-01-19T08:36:23.989-08:00Powerful, Patry. Thank you for such honest writing...Powerful, Patry. Thank you for such honest writing.<br />I walked the same path with my father, years of this gradual good-by.<br />Sending light and love for your journey, and for your mother as well.<br />~DeborahDeborah Jiang Stein* http://facebook.com/deborah.jiang.steinnoreply@blogger.com